By Shahreen Abedin From the WebMD Archives Holding on to previous romantic attachments creates feelings of distrust and can stymie an otherwise promising relationship.
Jess Lively Projecting a past relationship onto a current one is like re-living a dream we had last night, in the light of day.
First, it blocks your joy. True joy can only be experienced in the present moment. Even old memories that are joyful, are only joyful when thought about in the present moment.
We can never feel joy while worrying about the past or future. The second reason re-playing old relationships is harmful is because it hurts your growth with your current partner. Unless you begin to live in the present and experience new levels of intimacy with your current partner, your relationship will never reach its full potential.
Sometimes, especially if the last relationship was positive, it is hard to truly live in the present relationship because you feel like it is dishonoring the good that came from your last love. Rather than feel like you must completely disregard the lessons and love that were shared, it is better to recognize and value the good times that you had.
For example, though I am deeply happy in my marriage to my husband, I still appreciate the good times and lessons I learned with my past partner.
On the other hand, it is not best to dwell while in a current relationship on the last one in an actively romantic way or by comparing and contrasting strengths.
This is not about being actively maintaining a love affair or keeping score between partners. It is about allowing your past to fully exist as a part of yourself that informs and enriches your life as a whole.
Have a closing ceremony. As a culture, we do a lot to celebrate the beginnings of things, but we are not always as mindful to signify the end of things. On one side, I write all the difficulties and memories that I keep recycling in my mind.
One thought or memory goes on each line on the paper. If I shared many difficult things on the first side of the paper, I write my letter about how those challenges have affected me and helped me to become a stronger, more resilient person.
After the letter is complete, I cut it up line by line and say each line aloud before burning it. Dwelling on the details of what happened and why is no longer necessary.
You are welcome to use this variation on the closing ceremony concept for yourself, or, you can make up one that feels right for you. Last but not least, I think it is helpful to share your fears and recurring thoughts to someone who can help you process your emotions and see things in a more objective light.
This could be a counselor, therapist, coach, caring friend, or family member. Often, by not talking about something that we struggle with, it becomes stronger and more powerful in our lives.
By sharing our thoughts and concerns out in the open, we are allowing ourselves to see our internal dialogue in a new light and in a more proactive way. Though it might be tempting to talk to your current partner about these fears, and often that can be helpful if done carefully and tactfully, it might be wise to talk openly to someone less invested in either relationship, who can help you find the peace you need to bring yourself more fully to your present partner.
Though none of these practices in and of themselves may help you to completely stop comparing your current relationship to the past, they can help you start to move towards that aim, one moment at a time. You, and your current partner, deserve your complete attention in order to reach your fullest potential and learn the lessons this relationship has to give.Essay on Personal Narrative - Mother and Daughter Relationship - Personal Narrative- Mother and Daughter Relationship I am rummaging through a cardboard box full of pictures, looking for the perfect one to put in one of those sentimental Mother and Daughter word frames from Hallmark.
Get an answer for 'How can I start an essay about "Explaining Relationships"?Writing about a relationship can lead to exciting discoveries.
Perhaps the particular relationship you choose to. At some basic level, the challenges of writing are about this elusive relationship between the historian and the past.
We work through it from the moment we step into the archives. But it is the act of writing, itself, that places us in a direct conversation with the past. Relationships – Essay Writing It seems to me, based on what I have heard from older people and what I have learned about society in even the recent past, the concept of the relationship .
At some basic level, the challenges of writing are about this elusive relationship between the historian and the past. We work through it from the moment we step into the archives. But it is the act of writing, itself, that places us in a direct conversation with the past. Projecting a past relationship onto a current one is like re-living a dream we had last night, in the light of day.
The past is no longer “real,” but our memories and experiences from our last relationship .